The Story Behind Cold Storage Kids Run 2013

It was a bright sunny morning when I woke up to prepare for the run. Made chicken ham egg mayonnaise sandwich for my hubby n Ee Rynn. Cooked porridge for Ee Wern. As we were running late (as usual with young children), I make 3 big protein scoops with milo to fill my tummy. Luckily I have packed the race bag the night before.

It was our first time driving to town. When we found the building we wanted to park, the queue was long. Feeling anxious as we have to reach the holding point, at least for Ee Rynn (her runs start first), we run down and left Ee Wern with daddy queuing into car park. 

It was a bright sunny morning. Weather was perfectly well. This sanguine mommy packed the sunblock in the race bag but it was with daddy. So now what? Luckily a friendly mommy lent her sunblock to me and I pat some on Ee Rynn face. Ee Rynn was excited. Her first run.

Ee Rynn: mommy, I will run very fast. Can you follow me? 

Mommy: I will try my best, with a warm smiley face.

When the MC announce there was Bob The Builder mascot, the crowd went wild. I had to carried Ee Rynn with all my strength so she can waved from the back to the mascot. When the whistled was blowed, the crowd in front of us started running. Ee Rynn was building up the momentum and ready to RUN. I was so ready to follow her from the back. I knew if she is determined to be fast, she will. In a split second, a boy running side way and hit Ee Rynn to the ground. Imagine the momentum of running is building up and something hit very hard from the side. I was startle. Ee Rynn started to cry. It was a very hard knocked. Her face hit the ground. Her knee was scratched. With God's protection, no sign of bleeding. But it was painful. My decision that she wore a long pants for the race help protect her legs. I hold her hand, walked to the side and knelt down. Looking at her, crying so badly, I was very very sad. Sad because it was painful. Angry (in my mind) because 'blaming' that boy's father didn't take care of his son properly. The MC has reminded the parents over and over again to take care of our own children.

My mind was working like a parachute. What should I do now? Silly me, I asked Ee Rynn whether she want to continue.. She said don't want (of course, she fell). I tried to comfort her and she cried harder. What should I do? Arghh.. I took a deep breath, divine intervention happen :-P I am thinking, my daughter has prepared herself to get a medal from this run (though it's not a competitive run). And this is what has happened. Things happened in life, in real life. Should we backed off? She don't have injury. Reality, we can get the medal when we finish the run. I read that when children was sad, just be there for them and quietly lead them so they feel secure in our arm. Then they will be up n bouncing again. I took a deep breath. I hold her hand, started walking. She was still crying and tried to stop me from continuing our walk. I quietly hold her hand and assure her (despite all the cheering by the volunteer) that let's walk a little and we decide later when she stop crying. 

Slowly step by step, from very sad to getting back to 'so so mood'. She started to look around. She told me she's going to be the last. She don't like to be the last. I smiled. Still keeping quiet. Her real reason why she cried is verbalized. We continue our journey until the finishing line. She got her medal. On the way to meet her daddy, I told her that I am glad she has crossed the finishing line and that she obtained her medal. I am happy that she don't give up. She wasn't happy about it yet. She showed her grumpy face to her daddy and told daddy about the incident. Daddy assured her that she crossed the finishing line and that's what mattered most. (We have SMS each other so the story n encouragement is consistent :-P)

She started to feel a little bit better when she gotten her lollipop. Kids are so cute. But she is still holding on to the 'incident'. 

At quiet time tonight, we were chatting. We are into song creation.  We took nursery rhyme and change the lyric according to our creativity. She created this lyrics according to 'twinkle twinkle little star' rhyme:

Cold Storage run is really fun,

But a boy knocked me and I fell down,

But I hold my mommy's hand,

I finished the race and did not give up,

Cold Storage run is really fun,

I am happy I didn't give up.

My tears almost rolling down. It was 'not giving up' lesson that we want her to experience and she learnt it. I am so so glad that I don't rattle on and on, trying to console her. Feeling sorry for her on uncontrolled event will make her feel pity. By merely holding on and walked to cross the finishing line, this 5 years old learnt the most valuable lesson that many parents want their children to learn. It has affirmed me again that it's not what we say but it's through our action, that kids learnt the most. 

For adult, we can easily said it's not our lucky day. But, we as parents, we can't blame a situation that happen to us as unlucky. They will grow up and blaming instead of taking responsibility. Modeling, modeling and modeling... This is a reality. Things happen despite planning. It's important to perseverance and continue the journey despite circumstances. I learnt again, to apply in my own life. 

 I am so so glad that I continued. It would be so so easy for me to cross the road and walked back to holding point and rest. Because I was sad seeing her cry. Mother wants to protect her child. I am glad I continued...

My Child is Testing My Limit - Parenting Basics Part 4

Have you ever think that why my child test me all the time? Or why my child put me into trouble and embarrass me? Or why my child likes to challenge my authority and test their boundaries? I use to get very upset when I am faced with defiance moment. A child that scream at me in public, a child that throw a fork and hit another person next to our table, a child that scream and shout (because didn't get to buy her favourite toy) all the way to car park and a child that lying down on the floor screaming in the shopping mall? Or you have a screaming child in a cot wanting attention and a child that constantly biting his sibling? Familiar? If not, you are lucky! Appreciate your child.

We might think the cause could be no effective enforcement of limit and punishment at home. We use time out, threats, hand hitting, threatening voice, raise our hands pretending to hit and so on, nothing work. The worst part is it brought guilts to us. If we want our children to behave, why are we modeling such bad behavior? The worst part is the older child will model our behaviour and threaten the younger siblings.

Don't we want to have a trusting relationship with our children? Don't we want to ensure we are the person they turn to when they are indecisive about important decision in life?

I realized that they are not doing it purposely. The good news is our toddler and preschooler are too young to plan a plot to test us. Many of times, parents get into power struggle because it's a parent problem. A child does something that don't make sense to parents but make sense to themselves. They spill water from the cup because of their curiosity. Parents see it as chore to clean up. They empty their cupboard because they like the motion of putting things in and out the closet, we see them as being naughty and messing around. They run and jump into the swimming pool with joy, we give them one hour lecture on why they shouldn't. (yes, they shouldn't but we don't lecture them and give impression that swimming pool is dangerous). They used up all the shower gel in one time because they love the smell and bubbles from it. We see them as playful. They love the world so much and try to make sense in the world they live in. We need to learn to cool down before we react. Yes, I am talking to myself. I need to take 3 deep breath (my husband remind me that always) and think again.

Second, they throw tantrum or whining because they have lost their connection with us. They are away to school and day care while we work. They missed us, the most important person in their life. When we pick them from day care, reach home only to find out that they leave their bag in the middle of the living room, socks at the doorstep, blast the radio etc. We feel annoyed and starts commenting. Over time, they feel they are not loved. They feel they are loved only when they do their chores and when they behave. They feel they are love conditionally. The love connection is lost. Imagine we are at work whole day. We look forward to reach home so we can do things we like. Children too. They are in day care for more than 8 hours and they look forward to come home, the place they belong and do things they like.

The best thing to do is we freshen up and spend time to listen and chat before we head to do our chores. Spend time to listen. Yes, listen. Connect with them. I learned not to ask close ended question because all I get is OK, Good, Not bad, a one word answer. I always crack my head and try to ask open ended question like : What did you learn from school today? Who is sitting next to you during lunch time? How did you solve the maths problem today? Can you show me how to write the chinese character you learn today? What game did you play outdoor today? Who is your playmate in circle time? Let them talk as much as they want to. From the conversation, they will feel secure in our presence. Once they feel secure, they will be themselves and more importantly, they will be the best them and even try to please us. They feel good about themselves. Our children feel important.

I remember when my second child was born, daddy took over story book time at night. Out of the 3 months, I read about 7 days in total. The intimate connection between me and my elder girl was lost. Before my second child, I read story book and bible story to her most of the time. It became worst when we moved to a new country. She entered new school, new routine, new friends and new environment. She would scream easily in public, scream to daddy in a restaurant, breakdown easily at home, woke up at least 3 times after midnight (my eye was very panda look ^^), reluctant to listen and very demanding. I don't recognise it as terrible 2 or 3 or 4. I don't believe in such labelling. There must be underlying issue. I was upset and thought I have failed as a mom. I recognised the problem and proactively read and read and read and purchased online parenting course to learn.

What I did was, I plan one to one time with her. I ensure my baby go for afternoon nap when she comes back from school and give her full attention. It took me about 3 weeks to see the different. Now, she is like angel. She will negotiate and make decision together with me, cooperatively. I am counting my blessing. The next challenge now is my baby is reluctant to take afternoon nap. She has grown. So I introduce quiet time at home. When my elder girl has her quiet time, I have one to one time with my second child. When my second child has her quiet time in the cot, I have one to one time with my elder girl. It's not easy for them to have such habit. One would scream and shout from the cot and one will breakdown and asked why.

I found out that children will behave and want to please their parents if they feel loved unconditionally. If a child continuously having behavioral problem, it's important for parents to be deliberate to find the cause and assist the child. We wish all the parents out there the best and stay connected always to your children. Every child is special.

Thanks for reading my thoughts.

Note: I rule out all the behavioural problem that require medical attention.

Mother's Day 2013

As Mother's and Father's Day is approaching, this is the theme song at home by you, Ee Rynn. You hummed it every day. It's lovely.

Mommy, mommy, I love you,
And you know I really do,
I know you love me too,
That's why I sing for you.

Daddy, daddy, I love you,
And you know I really do,
I know you love me too,
That's why I sing for you.

~and~ 

Mmmm is for mommy,
Mommy, I love you,
Mmmm is for mommy,
Mommy, I love you

Mmmm is for mommy,
Mommy, I love you,
Mommy, mommy, mommy, I love you
Mommy, mommy, mommy, I love you

~and~

Happy Mother's Day to you

Happy Mother's Day to you

Happy Mother's Day to mommy

Happy Mother's Day to you

You were so excited about Mother's Day. On Saturday morning, you planned with daddy. You told daddy your plan and write it down in your planner. Throughout Saturday, you told me you have surprise for me, but you cannot tell me. Mommy enjoyed your excitement.

Ee Rynn: mommy, I am going to tell daddy a secret but you cannot listen. Mommy, cover your ear.

It is very cute to see you whispering to daddy. This happened throughout Saturday. 

On Sunday morning, you bounced out from bed. You woke daddy up. You ask me to stay in the room. You prepared toast bread for mommy and daddy helped to fried an egg. You told daddy you want to serve the breakfast on a serving tray. You even told daddy that mommy should drink fresh milk today instead of milo or coffee. You told daddy it's healthier to drink fresh milk. You put the Mother's Day card beside the tray when you served the breakfast. 

Mommy enjoyed the breakfast this morning. As usual, you would want me to share my breakfast with you and you will end up eating my portion. 

In the afternoon, mommy get to rest. You were so excited when daddy took out the cake for Mother's Day. You commanded to put 4 candles. We ask why and you said you like it. We were so full after the cakes and you requested mommy to take early snack again. You served yogurt on the serving tray. Your excitement has put a smile in mommy's heart. I never felt so special before. Someone who want to serve me so dearly :-) You continue to sing Mother's Day song throughout the afternoon. 

Next, you plan to swim. You want to play game in the swimming pool. So we tag along. When we reach the pool, you met your friend and continue playing with her until dinner time. Throughout our dinner, you continue to sing the Mother's Day song. Mommy really enjoyed your excitement. 

You have made a potpourri pouch for me from school. You told me you thread the potpourri pouch on your own. Thank you, my dear.

For Ee Wern, you enjoyed the food. As mommy didn't cook today, you get to eat out. You tried pineapple fried rice, mix vegetable, abalone soup, grilled potatoes, stewed pork, marshmallow and lemongrass ginger Haagen Dazs ice cream. You kept asking for 'mum mum'. You were so bubbly throughout the day.

Mother's Day will never be the same without both of you. Thank you for making mommy's so special. Thank you daddy too, for all the arrangement and planning. I love the buffet dinner.

 

you plan this in your planner

 

yummy breakfast

 

yummy cake and sumptuous dinner

happy faces

 

potpourri pouch

 

 

mommy didn't know that I am a super mom to you :-)



Ice Bowl Fruits Salad

10th May 2013 - Ee Rynn at 5 years and 6 months old

Ee Rynn, you came home full of excitement. You shared you enjoyed eating the fruits salad you made in school. You want to make it again at home. As we don't have grapes and kiwi, we use apple, peach and dragon fruit. It was a fun moment to watch you doing it. It was yummy!

 

 



Happy Mother's Day - 12 May 2013

Since 2007, being promoted to 'mommy' is a great deal. I anticipate with anxious and joy upon the arrival of our first born. I am not equipped with an experience as a mom. It's all hands on. We all do. All moms eventually become very good at being a mom. We are at the highest survival skills ever in our life providing to our bundle of joy. We are being put in the lime light and being perceived as expert when our precious arrived.

Over the years, I believe these are the things we did as a mom:

1. A dentist - when our child had food stuck in his mouth, we help to clear it. When our child complain of teething pain, we soothe by cuddling and applying tether gel. We teach them to brush their teeth properly.

2. A doctor - when our child complain about stomach pain, we have to diagnose the pain. Pain cause by anxiety due to attending new school? Discomfort cause by poops accumulation? Pain cause by colic? Pain because of gastric? Discomfort cause by food poisoning? We are getting really good at diagnosing. We can't send them to doctor every time, right? We help clean their wound and help them understand it takes time to heal. We become a walking dictionary for all the possible sickness for children. Eg: type of fever, type of rashes, type of poops..

3. A teacher - We want the best for them. We teach and model valuable life skills. We tutor them during exam. We solve the problem in their homework. We provide a learning environment at home. We feed their curious mind. We spend time talking to them on world around us. We help them make sense in the world they live in.

4. A nutritionist - We ensure they have the right nutrition. We google and read about nutrient in vegetable, fruits and all other food stuff. We read nutrients and vitamins they need daily age appropriately. We model living a healthy life style.

5. A chef - We get very creative in preparing the right food so they will gobble within seconds. We educate them on proper eating habits. We model and practice hygiene food preparation. We restrict them on junk food intake.

6. A finance minister - We educate them to save, invest and spend wisely. We help and empower them in planning their weekly allowances. We do the maths with them so they don't over indulge themselves because of impulse needs.

7. A supporter - We believe and feed their visions on who they want to be. We provide environment and exposure allowing them to experience life age appropriately. We provide opportunity for them to make decisive decision for themselves (age appropriately). We help them to cope with grieve of failure and lift them to soar again. We believe in them and let go when they are ready to 'go'.

8. An event planner - We plan for their birthday, outing, play dates, exercise, Father's Day, brother or sister's birthday, teacher's appreciation day at school and so on. We google to find ideas and best deals. We plan outing with grandpa and grandma. We plan outing that help in fostering family relationship.

9. A helper - We clean everything you can think of in the house. We teach them to sort out their soggy clothes. We teach them to fold their clothes and arrange in their closet. We ensure they pack the right items they need in school. We remind them to drink water.

10. An actress - We pretend when they need us to take part in their imaginative play. We pretend as a sore loser when they want to win. We pretend to see the world according to their paradigm. We pretend to be funny to get our message across.

11. A security guard - We ensure they are safe all the time. We rationalize with them on unsafe situation. We teach them how to handle uncertainty. We provide environment for them to practice.

We become wholesome and wiser because of them. Being a mom has made us flexible to the highest degree. Flexible to handle all the unexpected moment anytime of the day. Flexible to be out of control and be in driver seat again. Flexible to laugh and cheer even at the lousiest moment. We become courageous in making decision for our children and handle the grieve if it's a wrong one. We learn everyday in building relationship with them. With them, we try things we never tried before and be proud of it.

These experience are priceless. Something we can't tag a price tag to it. To all my friends and mothers in the world, I wish you a Happy and Meaningful Mother's Day!


Note :

Some of these scriptures has helped me draw meaning to my motherhood.

Titus 2:4-5 : Then they can train the younger women to love their husband and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to subject to their husband, so that no-one will malign the word of God

Titus 2:6-8 : Encourage the young men to be self-controlled. Inn everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness, ans soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 : And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
- We are available for them whenever they need us.

Ephesians 6:4 : Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
- We initiate communication that help them process the meaning in their life. We draw limits lovingly and firmly.

Ephesians 5:1-2 : Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children, and live a lofe of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
- We provide affection and unconditional love irregardless situation. We provide acceptance and constant verbal support even when they fail.

Deuteronomy 4:9 : Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.
- We leave legacy my modelling integrity and godly life.

Celery Experiment

23rd April 2013 - Ee Rynn @ 5 years and 6 months old

Ee Rynn came to me wanting to know how plants drink water. She knew plants need water but how do they drink? She told me she saw an activity somewhere using food colouring and celery. So this is the list of items we have prepared.

1. plastic cup
2. food colouring
3. celery
4. chopping board
5. plastic knife

She choose yellow and red food colouring for this experiment. We filled the plastic cup with water and pour the food colouring into the plastic cup. She put the celery into each cup and told me to leave it overnight.

The next day, she want to cut the celery stem to check whether there's water in the stem. She explained that we will know by examine the tiny holes inside the celery stem. She chopped the celery and happy to see the tiny holes filled with yellow and red. She concluded that the celery drink water and causing the leaves to change colour according to the colour in the water.

She took out her note book and record her findings. She draw a picture of the celery too. It was a fun moment for us.

Ee Wern was attentive throughout :-)

 

Activities You Can Do with Your Children in your Daily Life

When my daughter turned 4 years old, she was active and always looking for things to do on her free time. I was not experience then, especially in looking for resources for children exposure. Along the way, I have learnt to note down some interesting activity that she can focus on.

Our primarily focus is to spend time with them during their growing up years. We want them to learn important life skills from us too. Home is the best place to learn because it's a safe place to improve and make mistake. Once they reach teenager years, they will have friends they want to spend time with. Therefore, in their early years, we want to build a strong and trusting relationship with them.

Below are some suggested activity you can easily do together with your children :-

1. Start a journal together with them. Note down their happiest and interesting moments. It will put a smile on their face when they read it again. It will remind them on memory they have with the family.  You can print some photo and stick on the journal book. Pictures speak a thousand words. Your child learn to cherish things in life.

2. Write thank you card to people that matters to them. Make time to help them count the blessing and be thankful to people that matters to them. You can bring them to post office to post the card. Your children will have opportunity to learn about post office too. This can be a yearly affairs. It can be on every December.

3. Turn on your favourite music and dance with them! It's time to bring out the little child in you. Your children need to see you letting loose and have fun too!

4. Cycling around the neighbourhood. Along the way, teach them about road safety. Remember to have fun along the way and don't turn the outing to a lecture session. You can plan a biking trip with them. Let them map out the route. They will have change to exercise their judgement skill.

5. Make your own wrapping paper. You can use them to wrap birthday or Christmas gift.

6. Unleash your child creativity. Design a family photo album. Let your child select pictures they like and get some material ready . Spend couple of weekends with them to produce the album. They will be delighted as output comes alive!

7. Mark important dates and decorate it on the calendar. Plan to do list on that important dates. The first thing they might tell you is their birthday! My birthday is an important day! :-)

8. If you have more than one child, let them choose a topic and arrange a play during Christmas or weekends when grandparents is around. This will strengthen relationship among siblings. It will help them to work together too.

9. Choose a topic and do a project with them. For example if you child likes car, then you can help him build a car model. Find some material that you can use to build a model. Eg: Clay, cardboard, wood, newspaper etc.. It'll definately takes more than a weekend. Building a model from scratch involve a lot of trial and error. Your child will learn that perseverance is important to achieve the right outcome they want. This is an important life skill. The good news is you are there to encourage and support them.

10. Make salt dough together. You can create lots of things with salt dough. Fridge magnet, snow man, hand and finger print, animal or flower model and the list go on and on. Fridge magnets can be given away as a gift too.

To ensure the mixture turn out right involve adding, subtracting, measuring and judgement. Your child will learn maths concept like composition and measuring. Your child will have chance to practice their judgement skills too. Baking with them are fun too.

11. Play dress up with them. Take out some old clothes and look for material to enhance it. For example use fabric paint or pens to add new print on it, use ribbon and sew it to the edge of the collar etc. The process creates lots of fun and spark creativity.

12. Plan a camping trip. Let your children plan the activities. It will open up their world to nature and skills to survive with basic amenities.

13. Get a glass marker and let your child unleash their creativity on window or sliding door at home. You can clean it easily after that.

14.  Organize play date with kids in different age. Let the older kids plan for treasure hunt. The older kids can exercise their leadership skills to lead the younger children. The young ones will learn teamwork to find the answer.

15. Decorate an old jewelry box.

16. Have a balloon or pillow fight.

17. Work with your child on your supermarket trip. Your child can learn about Mathematics in supermarket. They can learn about sorting, categorization and counting. Eg: Explain to your child that supermarket categories things and let your child direct you to the right aisle to pick up things according to your shopping list. It's exciting when they can find they favorite milk!

18. Let you child plan a meal (age appropriate). They will be thrilled to see what's on the dining table. For sure, it's a life skills that they need to learn.

19. Select a topic (general knowledge) and organize a show and tell. You can start with topic that interest them most. Show them informations (if they are young) and encourage them to share their point of view with you.

If you have an older child, let them do some research in the library and share their finding with you. Make sure you do your research too. Your children learn through modeling. If they know you put in effort, you will be very very surprise of the output from your children. In the long run, you are building a relationship where your child can talk to you about anything under the sun! You will become their friend.

20. Imaginative play. Suppose your child tells you that he's a doctor. You can play along with them imagining all the possible situation in a doctors' life. Let them lead the play and act it out.

Or your child tells you that she's a princess. You can act as a servant and serve them. It's fun to see them pretending. It helps them in expressing their thought and enrich their vocabulary. They might stop, blinking their eyes and tell you to pause just to ask you how to describe certain thing. This will lead to teaching moment.

I hope I have enriched your imagination and ideas. I hope you will enjoy some suggested activities above as we do. Please tailor the activities to you child's age. Learning should be fun.

I hope you can take some time to share with me here if you have tried them. Or please share with me if you have other fun ideas.

Have Fun!

Happy Helper

Mommy told you that I am tired and need an afternoon nap today. You were quiet.

When mommy was busy preparing your lunch, you and Ee Wern were very quiet. I am thinking that is unusual. As I served the lunch, I saw you have help mommy clean and arrange the mess around the house. Mommy was so happy and blessed. Thanks for your help, my dearest happy helper :-)

Swimming Test

We went to Tampines Swimming Complex for your Stage 1 and 2 swimming test. Your coach told mommy that it's easy and straight forward. He thinks you can pass the test easily.

There were a few stages to go through. There were about 10 children including you. You went through the 80m free style easily. I was relieved. Next was life jacket test. You were the only one who can wear the life jacket properly. You need to wear a life jacket and swim for 80m. You did it. The third was to dive into water, remain and swim in the deepest level. Fourth was to swim on your back and do hand signal asking for help. Fifth was to find a partner and save your partner when they call for help. This happen in the children's pool. Sixth was to swim in adult pool and call for help so your partner can throw in a float to save you. This was a tough one. Because coordination was bad, the coach waited very long for the younger children to reach the middle of the pool. You reached the middle of the pool and paddled for more than 5 min. You have lost your strength and started to drowned. That's when you shout 'mommy', 'mommy'. I was panicking because I see you swallowed the pool water. So mommy direct you to swim over to the side of the pool.

I admired your perseverance and you continued to swim from the middle of the pool to the staircase at the side of the pool even though you were exhausted. You have saved yourself. I am so proud. Though daddy wasn't quite happy because I provide solution to you by asking you to come out from water via the staircase. Daddy said I should learn to be calm. But I saw you drowning. The coach wasn't paying attention at all.

When the test ended, you told us you have learnt all those stages in your swimming lesson.

This journey watching you was a great lesson for mommy. As a mom, a role model to you, mommy should learn to expect with vision and exhibit the confident that you are capable to pass the test. And you did.

You have teaches mommy a valuable lesson. Teaching me the lesson of expectation and trust, trust a person capabilities. Mommy loves you.