January 19, 2012 - At home
As I was having lunch with EeRynn, she drop n spill her rice n vege on our dining chair again. We have spots all over the chair by now.
Mommy ( in stern face ) : EeRynn, mommy always remind you to put the spoon properly into your mouth. Now, another stain on this chair.. I cleaned the chair.
EeRynn was watching silently.
After I cleaned the chair, EeRynn said this : mommy, I am sorry, I don't mean to spill on the chair. Don't be so sad. I am sorry.
OMG!! I have tears in my eyes.. Giving her a big hug apologizing that I have raise my voice n promised I will say properly next time.
She's a sensitive girl..
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Conversation with Ee Rynn
Daddy : Dear, did u bring Ee Wern's medical card?
Mommy : Yes, dear.
EeRynn : Daddy, why u call mommy DEER? it's an animal!!!
So cute :>
Mommy : Yes, dear.
EeRynn : Daddy, why u call mommy DEER? it's an animal!!!
So cute :>
Conversation with Ee Rynn
EeRynn : mommy, daddy said u can play with me IF U HAVE TIME
(uneasy n asking myself did i forget to spend time with her) So I carry cranky Ee Wern together n she sat down on her desk n make art n craft
Mommy : (trying to justify) EeRynn remember in Singapore, mommy bring u to pool every day?
EeRynn : nodding.. Mommy brings Ee Wern together to pool right?
Mommy : it hit me right away. What she's asking from me is my ONE to ONE time with her, not arranging n scheduling on bringing her to do things she likes. Immediately, I pass Ee Wern to daddy n focus doing art n craft with her. Daddy's turn to soothe baby.
I made her a card n she made me one :-)
(uneasy n asking myself did i forget to spend time with her) So I carry cranky Ee Wern together n she sat down on her desk n make art n craft
Mommy : (trying to justify) EeRynn remember in Singapore, mommy bring u to pool every day?
EeRynn : nodding.. Mommy brings Ee Wern together to pool right?
Mommy : it hit me right away. What she's asking from me is my ONE to ONE time with her, not arranging n scheduling on bringing her to do things she likes. Immediately, I pass Ee Wern to daddy n focus doing art n craft with her. Daddy's turn to soothe baby.
I made her a card n she made me one :-)
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Conversation with EeRynn on Values
We decided to send EeRynn to speech & drama class this holiday. She's animated and expressive at home. So we want to explore how far this talent will go. We wanted to provide her an opportunity to learn about teamwork & social skills too. She's going to 5 to 8 years old class.
The first day was fun for her. She has her friend Ariel came along too. It was fun until the game called 'Zombie' was introduce. It was a chasing game where a monster chasing a victim so the victim can be anew monster and chase for anothere child. She broke down, crying on second day and teacher manage to calm her down. Since then, she kept telling me she don't want to continue. I am glad that I wasn't there when she cry. Let me explain. I knew it's important for her to learn to manage her emotions on uncomfortable situation. She's doing pretty alright as she stop crying and chatting with the assistant teacher in the class. When the 'zombie' game ended, she joined the group for other activities.
I knew I needed to hold a conversation with her that night so she would continue for the 3rd day. She started to tell me she don't want to continue for the 3rd day, which is also the last day. At first, my respond was to encourage her that it's alright and she can tell the teacher she don't want to play the 'zombie' game. EeRynn is a persistent child. She continue to tell me her refusal until deadlock. I kept quite. I choose an easy way out. I asked her to tell her father. But deep in my heart, I knew I need to handle it.
On 3rd day, she came to me sobbing telling me she don't want to attend the class. First I use peer pressure saying her friend Ariel was in the class. It doesn't work. That moment, I knew I need to hold an eye to eye conversation with her despite her sobbing. I asked her to look into my eyes and I said : EeRynn, today is the last class and you have performance. Your friend needed you to put the show together. Mommy has said that you can tell the teacher if you don't like to 'Zombie' game. It's OK. More importantly, we don't do things half way, when we started something, we need to finish it. And today is the last day. Please go into the class and continue.
She's still sobbing but I think she sense the seriousness of the matter. She brave herself and walked back to the class.
As a mom, I am not sure how much she gets the point as a 4 years old. I am glad I did tell her what I think because being truthful and loving is what we should demonstrate as parents. It can be hurtful to them but I choose to have them learnt from me than from stranger. Because learning from us is a safety net. She can be vulnerable and we can accept just who she's when she's vulnerable. That's an encouragement by itself.
She continue the class until the performance. I can sees that she is OK.
For me, I learnt to be truthful and honest to her is the best solution. Being truthful and honest reveal to her that her mommy is transparent hence she will know I am sincere in our relationship.
I am glad I learnt this lesson now when she is 4 years old.
The first day was fun for her. She has her friend Ariel came along too. It was fun until the game called 'Zombie' was introduce. It was a chasing game where a monster chasing a victim so the victim can be anew monster and chase for anothere child. She broke down, crying on second day and teacher manage to calm her down. Since then, she kept telling me she don't want to continue. I am glad that I wasn't there when she cry. Let me explain. I knew it's important for her to learn to manage her emotions on uncomfortable situation. She's doing pretty alright as she stop crying and chatting with the assistant teacher in the class. When the 'zombie' game ended, she joined the group for other activities.
I knew I needed to hold a conversation with her that night so she would continue for the 3rd day. She started to tell me she don't want to continue for the 3rd day, which is also the last day. At first, my respond was to encourage her that it's alright and she can tell the teacher she don't want to play the 'zombie' game. EeRynn is a persistent child. She continue to tell me her refusal until deadlock. I kept quite. I choose an easy way out. I asked her to tell her father. But deep in my heart, I knew I need to handle it.
On 3rd day, she came to me sobbing telling me she don't want to attend the class. First I use peer pressure saying her friend Ariel was in the class. It doesn't work. That moment, I knew I need to hold an eye to eye conversation with her despite her sobbing. I asked her to look into my eyes and I said : EeRynn, today is the last class and you have performance. Your friend needed you to put the show together. Mommy has said that you can tell the teacher if you don't like to 'Zombie' game. It's OK. More importantly, we don't do things half way, when we started something, we need to finish it. And today is the last day. Please go into the class and continue.
She's still sobbing but I think she sense the seriousness of the matter. She brave herself and walked back to the class.
As a mom, I am not sure how much she gets the point as a 4 years old. I am glad I did tell her what I think because being truthful and loving is what we should demonstrate as parents. It can be hurtful to them but I choose to have them learnt from me than from stranger. Because learning from us is a safety net. She can be vulnerable and we can accept just who she's when she's vulnerable. That's an encouragement by itself.
She continue the class until the performance. I can sees that she is OK.
For me, I learnt to be truthful and honest to her is the best solution. Being truthful and honest reveal to her that her mommy is transparent hence she will know I am sincere in our relationship.
I am glad I learnt this lesson now when she is 4 years old.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Looking for Primary One School
Year end approaching and my eldest daughter will be 5 years old next year. It's time looking for primary one school for registration.
There are some question we asked ourselves whether to send her to national school (kebangsaan or jenis kebangsaan), private school or home school? One clear differentiation is national school is free education and private is not. Some thoughts we have :
1. What type of friends she will have in school? We came to conclusion that it's the area where the school is. As she starts to go to school, peer influence will exist. External influence is something we can't control. Therefore, we are building trust and communication habits at home. This will allow her to channel her thoughts to us when she comes back from school.
2. Is money a real concern? As the school fees in private go by semester, it looks small after breakdown by 3 months. The only factor that hold us back is, if private school, it's using national syllabus and maths & science is in BM except some school use Singapore syllabus concurrently. So why private?
3. We are the parents who believe in supplementing our child outdoor activities on top what the school provide. Because we believe we are building relationship while supporting her along the way. One of the reason of sending to private is the wholesome plan provided in the timetable, academic & extra curricular. If we send her to national school, we can supplement her extra curricular in the afternoon. So? Again no appealing reason yet to send her to private school.
4. I think if control is something we want, private school might be the choice. The perception is, if we as consumer pay, we will have rights to voice our concern when our child is not progressing well. Is that something parents do for their private school going children?
5. I was told, type of principal in the school is important. They determine the culture practice in school. To certain extent, I know this is true. If the principal is a loving principal, the teachers will follows.
I think end of the day, we choose based on informations that matches our family needs. Perhaps location is important for working parents either near their work place or baby sitter place. For full time mom, traffic might be a concern as stuck in traffic jam in the morning or afternoon is not fun :>
We knew this is a process..
There are some question we asked ourselves whether to send her to national school (kebangsaan or jenis kebangsaan), private school or home school? One clear differentiation is national school is free education and private is not. Some thoughts we have :
1. What type of friends she will have in school? We came to conclusion that it's the area where the school is. As she starts to go to school, peer influence will exist. External influence is something we can't control. Therefore, we are building trust and communication habits at home. This will allow her to channel her thoughts to us when she comes back from school.
2. Is money a real concern? As the school fees in private go by semester, it looks small after breakdown by 3 months. The only factor that hold us back is, if private school, it's using national syllabus and maths & science is in BM except some school use Singapore syllabus concurrently. So why private?
3. We are the parents who believe in supplementing our child outdoor activities on top what the school provide. Because we believe we are building relationship while supporting her along the way. One of the reason of sending to private is the wholesome plan provided in the timetable, academic & extra curricular. If we send her to national school, we can supplement her extra curricular in the afternoon. So? Again no appealing reason yet to send her to private school.
4. I think if control is something we want, private school might be the choice. The perception is, if we as consumer pay, we will have rights to voice our concern when our child is not progressing well. Is that something parents do for their private school going children?
5. I was told, type of principal in the school is important. They determine the culture practice in school. To certain extent, I know this is true. If the principal is a loving principal, the teachers will follows.
I think end of the day, we choose based on informations that matches our family needs. Perhaps location is important for working parents either near their work place or baby sitter place. For full time mom, traffic might be a concern as stuck in traffic jam in the morning or afternoon is not fun :>
We knew this is a process..
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Empowerment - the good and the bad
This is a big topic for parenting. As a mom, I asked myself in our daily activity whether I should empower her in this or that.
I come to realization that empowerment bring lots of benefit to children as early as 3 years old. I have started to empower EeRynn to walk up the stairs at 24 months. I have started to wean her from bottle to cup at 18 months and let her spill and coordinate her hand for cup feeding. I have empowered her to sense her urge to pass motion and not force her to sit on potty to form the toilet habit. I have empowered her to choose what she wants to do during her free time. Recently, I have empower her to choose not to have afternoon nap after school even I knew she's tired.
All these empowerment comes with joy and pain. Joy is seeing her enjoying as she gets what she wants. The benefit that comes along is her self esteem & self confident increased, ability to control her emotions in new environment, ability to learn to bear with the consequence that comes with her choices. I enjoyed seeing her growing as a confident 4 years old child.
The pain is when she fell and mommy has to bear the blame of allowing her to practice her coordination too early. The pain is when she spill the milk and I have to do the cleaning up. The pain is when she's constipated because she holds from going to toilet and chooses to play. The pain is to handle her crankiness when she's too tired to feed herself during dinner because no afternoon nap.
I realised the most important things as parents are to control our expression & emotions when our children are struggling with the consequence of their decision. As a mom, I have choose to explain to her when she's frustrated coping with the circumstances from her decision and help her to cope better like offering one or two solutions at 4 years old capacity.
For example, it took me a while to let her understand that if she holds her pooh pooh and continue to play, she will get constipated instead. It was painful when constipation happens to her but the reality discipline has made her understand the linkage between the 2. I make sure I am there to support her when she's in pain passing motion and to comfort her and subtly explain to her so she understand. Good news is she goes to toilet promptly when she needs to now.
My journey raising her has been meaningful and I hope God will continue to watch over us and we will be BFF.
I come to realization that empowerment bring lots of benefit to children as early as 3 years old. I have started to empower EeRynn to walk up the stairs at 24 months. I have started to wean her from bottle to cup at 18 months and let her spill and coordinate her hand for cup feeding. I have empowered her to sense her urge to pass motion and not force her to sit on potty to form the toilet habit. I have empowered her to choose what she wants to do during her free time. Recently, I have empower her to choose not to have afternoon nap after school even I knew she's tired.
All these empowerment comes with joy and pain. Joy is seeing her enjoying as she gets what she wants. The benefit that comes along is her self esteem & self confident increased, ability to control her emotions in new environment, ability to learn to bear with the consequence that comes with her choices. I enjoyed seeing her growing as a confident 4 years old child.
The pain is when she fell and mommy has to bear the blame of allowing her to practice her coordination too early. The pain is when she spill the milk and I have to do the cleaning up. The pain is when she's constipated because she holds from going to toilet and chooses to play. The pain is to handle her crankiness when she's too tired to feed herself during dinner because no afternoon nap.
I realised the most important things as parents are to control our expression & emotions when our children are struggling with the consequence of their decision. As a mom, I have choose to explain to her when she's frustrated coping with the circumstances from her decision and help her to cope better like offering one or two solutions at 4 years old capacity.
For example, it took me a while to let her understand that if she holds her pooh pooh and continue to play, she will get constipated instead. It was painful when constipation happens to her but the reality discipline has made her understand the linkage between the 2. I make sure I am there to support her when she's in pain passing motion and to comfort her and subtly explain to her so she understand. Good news is she goes to toilet promptly when she needs to now.
My journey raising her has been meaningful and I hope God will continue to watch over us and we will be BFF.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Relationship
We always think that we have spend lots of time together. We never been separated since we knew each other 10 years ago. The day we knew each other, we do things together all the time.
Throughout the years, we are very good in hiding our weakness because my weakness is his strength and his weakness is my strength. Recently, he has took up an oversea assignment.
We learnt so much about ourselves. As we cannot rely on each other daily (physically), we become stronger. We trust each other even more and we take each words from each other seriously. We count blessing everyday as we learnt new things about ourselves daily. He said this short term arrangement allowing us to set up a discipline for ourselves. Once we find our own voices and discipline, we will achieve more in life for ourselves and for our family.
This distance allowing us to appreciate each other, and bringing both us together to discuss on future for family more.. We sees it as a blessing because our relationship is growing stronger by day. I wish and hope God will protect him when he's away from home and hold us stronger together.
Throughout the years, we are very good in hiding our weakness because my weakness is his strength and his weakness is my strength. Recently, he has took up an oversea assignment.
We learnt so much about ourselves. As we cannot rely on each other daily (physically), we become stronger. We trust each other even more and we take each words from each other seriously. We count blessing everyday as we learnt new things about ourselves daily. He said this short term arrangement allowing us to set up a discipline for ourselves. Once we find our own voices and discipline, we will achieve more in life for ourselves and for our family.
This distance allowing us to appreciate each other, and bringing both us together to discuss on future for family more.. We sees it as a blessing because our relationship is growing stronger by day. I wish and hope God will protect him when he's away from home and hold us stronger together.
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