Conversation with EeRynn on Values

We decided to send EeRynn to speech & drama class this holiday. She's animated and expressive at home. So we want to explore how far this talent will go. We wanted to provide her an opportunity to learn about teamwork & social skills too. She's going to 5 to 8 years old class.

The first day was fun for her. She has her friend Ariel came along too. It was fun until the game called 'Zombie' was introduce. It was a chasing game where a monster chasing a victim so the victim can be anew monster and chase for anothere child. She broke down, crying on second day and teacher manage to calm her down. Since then, she kept telling me she don't want to continue. I am glad that I wasn't there when she cry. Let me explain. I knew it's important for her to learn to manage her emotions on uncomfortable situation. She's doing pretty alright as she stop crying and chatting with the assistant teacher in the class. When the 'zombie' game ended, she joined the group for other activities.

I knew I needed to hold a conversation with her that night so she would continue for the 3rd day. She started to tell me she don't want to continue for the 3rd day, which is also the last day. At first, my respond was to encourage her that it's alright and she can tell the teacher she don't want to play the 'zombie' game. EeRynn is a persistent child. She continue to tell me her refusal until deadlock. I kept quite. I choose an easy way out. I asked her to tell her father. But deep in my heart, I knew I need to handle it.

On 3rd day, she came to me sobbing telling me she don't want to attend the class. First I use peer pressure saying her friend Ariel was in the class. It doesn't work. That moment, I knew I need to hold an eye to eye conversation with her despite her sobbing. I asked her to look into my eyes and I said : EeRynn, today is the last class and you have performance. Your friend needed you to put the show together. Mommy has said that you can tell the teacher if you don't like to 'Zombie' game. It's OK. More importantly, we don't do things half way, when we started something, we need to finish it. And today is the last day. Please go into the class and continue.

She's still sobbing but I think she sense the seriousness of the matter. She brave herself and walked back to the class.

As a mom, I am not sure how much she gets the point as a 4 years old. I am glad I did tell her what I think because being truthful and loving is what we should demonstrate as parents. It can be hurtful to them but I choose to have them learnt from me than from stranger. Because learning from us is a safety net. She can be vulnerable and we can accept just who she's when she's vulnerable. That's an encouragement by itself.

She continue the class until the performance. I can sees that she is OK.

For me, I learnt to be truthful and honest to her is the best solution. Being truthful and honest reveal to her that her mommy is transparent hence she will know I am sincere in our relationship.

I am glad I learnt this lesson now when she is 4 years old.