You started school at 3 years old. You walked bravely to the classroom holding daddy's hand. Though you need us to be with you for a good 30 minutes, we departed with an agreement to fetch you after school. You were strong. We knew you felt a little uncertain, but you managed your emotion well.
You don't jump into the class and gain everybody attention by saying hi. You walk into the class quietly with your friends shouting 'Hi EeRynn'. You did well in second day. We hug and waves as you walked to your class. You asked me to pray for you. Since then, we have prayed every morning before you enter your class. The 3rd day was a defining moment. You hold onto my leg and reluctant to let go. I gave you option and you reluctantly choose to hug, pray and walked into your class room. I knew you were testing your limit. So I walked away and you started to run after me. Wow, what a scene. A scene where a mommy trying to run away from her daughter. Your day care teacher, Maria came to hug you and brought you to playground. I was sad. Mommy did call the school again to ensure you were fine. The teacher said you were more than fine. Since then, you knew the limits. You sailed through your preschool years.
When you entered K1, things starts to change. School start to prepare students for more learning. I meant 'homework'. That's when we change you to Chinese medium class. Back then, we weren't sure which Primary school to send you to. You don't like to write Chinese character. Deep in our heart, we knew you will struggle if we send you to SRJK(C). We feel having homework during this tender age will eventually burn the interest of learning. True enough, you started asking to stay home. When I asked why, you said you wanted to play. That's when we knew you were lack of 'fun' time at school.
When we moved to Singapore, you continue your K1 in a Montessori school. That's when we sees another positive change in you. We can sees your steady progress in academic and social. We were delighted. You enjoyed going to school everyday. I learnt so much listening to your story and from your worksheet at school. You have grown to be an outspoken, sociable and relatable girl. You can strike a conversation with children at your age, children older than you and even daddy and mommy's friend. You have grown to be a curious learner too. You ask 'why' all the time.
All these changes has lead me to change too. I had to become a 'bigger' mommy. ^^ I mean I have to learn to lead you. Meaning not feeding you with answer all the time and not guiding you all the time. At times, I had to see you fall. This is a real reality consequence. I am glad we have create a safe learning environment at home that allows you to fall and be back up again. I have to lead you so you have opportunity to find you voices and strength that help you achieve and continue to achieve more as you grow. It's a tough skill to learn. Mommy has to read a lot.
At the age of 4, we made decision together (based on your knowledge on the limit we set at home). We negotiate a lot! Yes, a lot. You confidence rise as you grow because you made small decision at home daily. You analytical skills improve. You learnt to think and include us in your decision making. You demand for respect too. You know your rights at home. At time, you demand me to listen to you. Yes, you still has tantrum. ^^ You are still a child at 5 years old. You understand when you reach the limit. Though you will cry, you learnt to manage your emotion and bounce back again. I enjoyed seeing you grow.
I believe all these don't happen over night. All these are the evidence of reading a lot and guidance from His words. I remember I read tons of parenting book before and after you were born. Your mommy worries too much. ^^ I need to have a compass before things happen. I have learnt to rest my worries to Him and use my ability to read and look for answer. You too, please remember to be on solution mode all the time when uncertainty arise. Don't forget to pray, He is there for you.
Mommy loves you.
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