Children Routine and Structure

Recently people asked me why Ee Rynn is such a confident and jovial child. Initially, I said God bless her well.

Coming to think about it, it's the routine and structure I have set up for her since early age.

Some of the routine and structure I have done are:

1. Meal time
2. Bath time
3. Sleeping
4. Planning for weekends
5. Communicating on what comes next in each day

I have started routine n structure for her as early as 6 months old. Now, I have my second child, I started routine even earlier at 2 months old. This is because I see routine and structure has benefited EeRynn.

Basically, I set up routine for meal, bath and sleeping time at the same hour everyday. If exception occurs, I will communicate about the changes.

These are some benefit I observed that has help her grow :

1. She knows what to expect. By knowing what to expect, it minimizes uncertainty. This gives her a sense of security. As a result, she is confident to maneuver herself in the schedule. Eg. If it's a sleeping time, she decides and chooses her pajamas, story book and who to put her to bed.

2. She is independence. Knowing what comes next each day allowing her to manage it well. In a long run, I see EeRynn feels competence in her daily routine because she sense she has master the routine.

3. Routine and structure has help her understand my expectation. EeRynn knew when she needs to wakes up, when to sleep, when to take shower and what not to do in the house. So far, she has demonstrate consistency in her daily routine. Because of this consistency, it minimize power struggle. It's manageable even she throw tantrums because there's consistency in expectation.

4. She has good self esteem. The predictability in routine and structure allows her to master every routine. This leads to feeling good about herself knowing she can manage each routine / situation and self esteem is the result.

I am glad that I learnt about setting up routine and structure for EeRynn when she was young. Now, I am reaping and enjoying the result.

Ee Wern's milestones - self soothe

19th April 2012 : 2 months 7 days

Ee Wern has learnt to dose off herself after crying for 15min. Her crying indicate that she's tired n want to sleep.

I have distance the picking up time from immediately to 30min. Initially she knows that I will pick her up eventually. However, this time I am determine to let her cry. After 15min, she slept.

I don't want to go to school

Ee Rynn: mommy, I don't want to go to school.
Mommy: why Ee Rynn?
Ee Rynn: because I don't like 'Wong lau shi', means teacher Wong. This is her new teacher.

I am thinking how should I address this issue. I choose to understand her intention first.

Mommy: Ee Rynn, mommy understand u had a new teacher recently. But why don't u like teacher Wong?
Ee Rynn: because I want to stay at home. I have lots of things to do at home.

Now I know she wants to stay home and play. Not so much the teacher that she don't like.

Mommy: Yes, I understand you have lots of things to do. However, choosing not to go to school because you don't like the teacher or you want to stay at home isn't the right reason. We go to school to learn, like how u learn Bahasa, Maths, English and Mandarin. Going to school means we have fun with our friends, like you have your best friends Ariel n Amanda.

Ee Rynn: Yes, but I still don't want to go to school. I like to stay home and do my work.
Mommy: cracking her head!!

Mommy: I remember last time, mommy don't like a colleague at work. But I can't choose not to go to work. This is simply because mommy understand why I go to work. It's to learn to earn money, to have friends (colleagues), to share happiness, play with my friends, to learn new things and to meet new friends (customers).

So Ee Rynn, you will have things that you don't like, but your reason to go to school is to learn so you become clever right? And you still get to play with your friend, right? I keep quiet.

Ee Rynn: ok, mommy.

I feel this conversation will go on for a few times before she learns to:

1. Understand that it's important to see the objective of certain things and not to give up half way.
2. Handle her own emotions when it is getting tough to achieve the objective.

The good news is I am there for her for every tough conversation she might brings up next time.
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