Conversation with Mother In Law - Part 2

This is what I planned to educate her ( my mother in law ).

We need to create a consistent habits in the house in order for EeRynn to grow emotionally healthy and to be a secure child. Consistent habits like eating time, playing time, TV time & sleeping time. To set all these habits, I need to be a consistent & predictable mother. I need to put her to bed even there's a good programme on TV. By doing so, she understand a house is govern by a rule and everyone obey it.

Consequence of not setting up habits to discipline her : She will run the house and be the boss. As she's growing, she will be very demanding. If her demand is not met, she will throw tantrum. This eventually create headache for us.

Situation can only get worst if we have second baby without setting up habits for EeRynn. She will misunderstand us that we don't meet her needs anymore and will starts to demand unnecessary. The situation can only get worst. But if we set up habits at home before the arrival of second baby, she will understand that is a routine. She will not perceive we are neglacting her.

Consistency as a parents is upmost important. If we are consistent with our words & actions, we will be the best role model to our children.

This is what I planned to share with my mom in law... Am I doing the right thing?

Please feel free to share your thoughts with me!

Conversation with Mother In Law - Part 1

I was sharing with my mother in law that I feel blessed with her help. I was working last Saturday. If I need to work during weekend, I need to send EeRynn to my mom's place. This will includes packing and un-packing her stuff and driving the miles for about half an hour to and half an hour back home.

Last weekend was first time that I don't need to send EeRynn to my mom's place because my mom in law was around.

As we talked she commented that we don't need to discipline EeRynn too early as she's 2++ years old. Discipline can starts when she's 4 years old.

I wasn't agree with her. So I am planning to explain to her reason & benefit of early disciplinary will be an advantage.

Wish me luck!

Telling the Truth - Part 2

What I have done to show unconditional love : Example :
She spill her water from her water bottle even after the 3rd time I reminded her not to do so. The first time, I understand she was doing it because of curiosity. Second time, to confirm her curiosity. The third time, she was laughing at it when she pour water from her water bottle.

Without scolding, I brought her to the corner of the room, where no one will give her attention and stay there for 5 min. Eventually she was crying and screaming "mommy, mommy". After 5 min, I sit her on the couch and explain that I am not happy with her behaviour and hope she will not repeat her action again. I look into her eyes and ensure she understood my point & she will nod her head to indicate she understands. Then I will cuddle her and tell her I love her very much.

I tell myself this : I will spoil EeRynn if I constantly coddle her. If I lovingly equip her to handle correction & redirection, this will be the greatest gift for her to venture the outside world when she grows up. She can be a great leader with great character. Same like the American Idol participant, if they open their hearts and listen to the comments from the judges, they can find their own voice and achieve great success.

Art & Craft

This is the hand art done by EeRynn together with me on 27th March 2010.

She had so much fun!

Telling the Truth - Part 1

As I was watching American Idol, the comments from judges were up front with good intention to help the participants progress and find their niche as they move forward. Some participants take it personally and they felt dejected & some take it constructively.

It reminds me on the challenge I face as a parent when we need to tell our kids that they have done something wrong and they can be better by not doing so.

EeRynn is 2 years 4 months now. She's very very decisive about her needs and wants. If she have done something that's unacceptable, it's always my challenge to let her understand she has done something wrong. The challenge is to equip her to handle correction & redirection as something positive.

I guess it's starts with 'unconditional love'. I will ensure that she knows I love her even I have to punish her because her act as defiant child :>

Seeing some of my friends' child, their children have to please their parents after punishment to win back their parents love. This is something not healthy because love has become a guessing game.

EeRynn verbalizing mommy & daddy's name

As I was fetching her back from play school, she said :

EeRynn : mommy name Mee Kuan
Me : Yes, EeRynn what did you say?
EeRynn : mommy name Mee Kuan
Me : Wow, EeRynn. You know mommy's name. I am proud with your progress! What's daddy's name?
EeRynn : Daddy's name 'Auai Shiung'
Me : Yes, daddy's name is Huai Shiung

I am very happy today. From the day she was born, I always feel she's a blessing from God to me & Ben.

What teats to use?

I have a first time mom asking me : What teats should I use? The one with one hole or cross hole?

I recommend mother who want to breast feed don't start them with bottle too early. Why? For the first 5 days, our body is adjusting to produce milk for our new born. If we use bottle to feed them, they know there's another way for them to get milk faster and therefore will throw tantrum every time the milk don't reach them fast enough. I recommend starts bottle at 6 weeks, then you have at least 2 weeks to train your baby on bottle before you go back to work.

I am using one hole teats. The cross teats encourage faster flowing of milk. For breast feeding mom, it might not be a good idea because our let down might not be as fast as from the bottle with cross teats, then your baby will be frustrated.

My lesson :

When I first delivered EeRynn, she cried a lot. I sent her to nursery in the hospital so I can rest during my first & second day after delivery. Because of that, the nurse cup feed her. By second day when I discharge from hospital, she already throwing tantrum because my let down is slow. She refuse to suckle and restless.

First night at home, she cried from 9pm to 4am. Second night at home she cried from 8pm till 5am. It took us 2 nights to figure out the above. Come the third day, we cup feed her and she stop crying and sleep peacefully. Wow.... Because I have decided to breastfeed her, I continue my journey and stop cup feeding her. I have to stand all her tantrum & crying. I continue talking to her that she need to suckle harder to get more milk. It improves.

I promised myself that when I have my second baby, I will make sure he/she will stay with me throughout my stay in the hospital.

Great lesson... :>

New BB Sitter - My baby refuse to eat - How?

I received an sms asking for advise : My baby refuse to eat & drink today because new baby sitter... Help!

My response :

1. Have you tell your bb on your plan sending her to new bb sitter?

- I learnt to tell EeRynn on every new plan for her. Informing her in advance allowing her to accept new changes when time comes. Eg. I remember planning her a new room when she was 14 months old. I have informed her that she's going to have her own room by herself, 2 weeks in advance. When time comes, she anticipate it and we make it a celebration that she can sleep on her own.
- Inform them in advance ( no matter how old your bb or whether they understand or not ) will lead to emotional stability which leads to trusting relationship. Try it, you will enjoy the result... Like me enjoying every single moment. No matter what changes we made, she seems adjust to it very well because she understand... This is a blessing.

2. Try to brief your new bb sitter on her old schedule / daily habits during previous bb sitter. This will allow your bb to feel secure despite changes of environment. Your bb will only need to cope with the new environment but not daily schedule. Therefore, it will minimize insecurity & tantrum.